sms funny

0% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N – T
I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny, an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going ???
Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
One out of four people is a Chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
Roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?
Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

noj perkthim shqip... nuk bohet llaf e